TRUE LIFE: I'm a compulsive avoider.

I am not capable of doing homework anymore, physically or mentally.

I literally cannot write a paper before 3 am the night (morning?) before it is due.

I have a 15 page term paper due tomorrow that is worth 25% of my overall grade. (And a good grade is needed, as my attendance points are disgraceful.)

But I can't write it. I sit dumbly in front of the screen doing whatever I can to avoid writing the first few words. I spent 7 hours in the library today and came out with a half-assed 2 page outline that I won't end up using, an extensive knowledge of the Unabomber, and a new found love for Flight of the Conchords.

I now sit in front of my computer again, incapable of writing this stupid paper. No matter how many pep talks I give myself, it will not get written until the wee hours of the night. Being flustered, crabby, tired and rushed is not the key element to a term paper masterpiece. So why, subconsciously, do I force myself to wait until the last minute possible? It's not that I'm better under pressure, although this was the excuse I used to give myself. The girl who used to be known for her writing skills hasn't written a paper yet this year that she's been legitimately proud of. It's almost like I'm subconsciously punishing myself? You put zero effort into school and still get good grades. Now you're being forced to write this paper at 4 am to compensate? The feeling of panic is the only thing that remotely drives me to do anything, school-related.

I like writing ads, too. But that's a different story.

I blame my mom. Kidding. But I wish I had one iota of work ethic.

Tonight will be spent writing about the Man Law commercials from a postmodern, masculine gaze. Three small problems with this:
1. I do not have a masculine gaze.
2. I can see my own personal opinion regarding MANLAWS (UGHNN) giving this paper a slight bias.
3. I have a very very very vague understanding of postmodernity.

So this should go well.

On the bright side, this paper is the only thing I have to do before Christmas break and then a semester spent speaking Spanish and being happy.

And I am listening to my mom attempt to talk in an Irish accent on the phone, while drinking tea in my room full of twinkly lights.

song of the day: littlest things - lily allen

that secret that we know that we don't know how to tell.

The new Bon Iver EP, Blood Bank was leaked and I'm a fan.

"As much as Emma is about the cold, the Blood Bank collection is about the warmth that gets you through it. You can feel the air move. Like a fire you've been stoking for hours and finally got to sustain itself, the heat blisters your face while your back is frozen solid."

Fitting.

I personally can't get enough of this one.

reading is sexy.

"I don't know why Meg doesn't have a boyfriend. She's like a REALLY good reader." - my favorite, Sarah Sandgren

This quote made me laugh a lot a few summers ago. Literate girlfriends = SO hot right now.

Evidently she was right, though.

The BBC reports that nearly half of all men and one-third of women have lied about what they've read to try to impress friends or potential partners.

"Ayn Rand?? Ahh, yes. Love her! Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead have definitely NOT been sitting on my bookshelf unread for the last two years. I dove right into them. Easy read. They're fantastic."

A friend of mine has told me about his admirable strategy of sitting in coffee shops either holding a worn copy of Dante's Inferno or pretending to read it while writing notes in the margin.

Girls ate that up.

The men polled said they would be most impressed by women who read news websites, Shakespeare or song lyrics. Women said men should have read Nelson Mandela's biography or Shakespeare.

(Nelson Mandela's bio? What??)

Note to self: step up the Shakespeare time. I already compulsively read news websites and song lyrics.

I, for one, love readers. What? You're intelligent and interested in the world? Your idea of a 'book' isn't Sports Illustrated? Date me please.

Moral of the story: Reading is sexy. Pick up a book once in awhile.

[I may or may not have the t-shirt version of the button on top.]
[Emphasis on may]

ladies of the round table.

i love kitchens. and kitchen tables. and warmth. and chatter. and all the socializing associated with the aforementioned.

no matter what the occasion is, people tend to flock to the kitchen. parties, holidays, dinners, etc. etc. etc. people want to be in the kitchen.

the kitchen/the art of cooking is essentially centered around trying to make people warm, comfortable & happy. it therefore makes sense that people ARE content while in that atmosphere.

during the holidays, the women of my family (a little sexist i know. women's studies minor will ignore that fact) flock to the kitchen to make whatever giant meal it is is that we're about to eat. and that's when the real laughter/story telling time takes place. the wine starts flowing & the story telling increases at the same rate.

the large majority of my in-depth roommate talks occur around our old, wooden, circular table. coffee is drank. boys are discussed. life is analyzed. it's an open, happy place.

i came home tonight still reeling from an awful day full of finals. i poured myself a glass of wine, pulled up a chair at my favorite table & started making paper snowflakes with my some of my favorite people. life started improving exponentially.

in wisconsin a few weeks ago, claire, some girls i had just met and i woke up from a late night out. and right away, everyone congregated in the kitchen, put a large pot of coffee on and proceeded to sit there for the next two and a half hours. conversation ranged from nudity to religion to harry potter to philosophy and by the end of it, i felt like i was legitimately friends with everyone there.

i like round tables. where everyone is equally visible. king arthur may have known what he was doing.

i don't think i managed to sum up the feeling of love i felt tonight. but i like kitchens.

i love this movie.

"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around."

my my my.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_1E6s7mQxA

For some reason, this really poorly made video made me cry. Jim/Pam + Skinny Love is quite the combo. Moral of the story: I am overly emotional about anything remotely cute that I see.

I just turned down an Adderall pill (beloved concentration assistant of college students everywhere). For as much crap as I put into my body, you'd think one more little thing wouldn't matter, but I was minorly repulsed by the idea. I might regret this later as I'm attempting to write 3 huge term papers + make up an obscure media strategy plan, but I do not like the idea of needing a pill to jumpstart my motivation.

This might be due to the fact that I'm writing a paper about ADHD and how overly medicated kids are. I would be the most hypocritical person in the entire world if I had to take something in order to write the paper about how too many kids are taking too many of the aforementioned somethings.

Badatlifegirl (read: me) managed to lose/get her ipod stolen, so a beautiful new black one is on its way. I'm repressing how much it cost. Aaaaand am going to try to take care of this one. I'm sick of technology hating me.

I need to start reading again.
And running.
And caring.

Song of the day: 9 crimes - Damien Rice

Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I'd do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be thinking of you
It's the wrong time
For somebody new

what the heel?

babyheels.

i am not ok with this.